Toys on the Town
by Elliot Pole
Summary: Salem Saberhagen goes to Bonnie's house and uses the time ball to take the world forward in time. Now instead of Andy going off to college in 2008, he is going in 2012. He buys a Merida doll and plays with his toys one last time, including Wheezy.
1. Chapter 1

**Toys on the Town**

**Chapter One**

Salem the cat jumped through a window and landed in the yard on all four paws.

"Good thing cats always land on their feet," he said. "Now, where was I supposed to go again?"

He walked down the road and passed a cat with strangely formed eyes that resembled glasses. "You're a strange feline," he said to her.

She did not respond.

He went on, and soon found himself in a neighborhood. He went to read a sign. "Sycamore Street. Of course! That's where I'm supposed to be! Now, what was the number of the house I'm to visit? 1368? 1144? I was supposed to think of some holiday…"

"Easter was the last holiday that matters," said a squirrel who was sitting on a power line pole.

"Was I talking to you?"

"Yes."

"No, I wasn't. If I were, I would have addressed you as nutcase."

"If you're seeking holidays, perhaps it's 214 you need, for Valentine's Day."

"Doesn't sound right," Salem said. A car nearly drove into him but he jumped aside, landing on the nearest driveway.

"Maybe you need 317 for St. Patty's."

"No saint. I'm certainly it's not a saint."

"505 for Cinco de Mayo."

"It is not 505."

"How do you know?" asked the quirrel.

"Because that would create a 404 error, and Sabrina wouldn't send me here for 404 errors."

"This Sabrina. You are in love with her?"

"Of course not! I'm her familiar! Familiars cannot love their witches. It's forbidden."

"Denial is the first step to proving that it's true."

"That's it! I'm done talking to you! If you're going to insult me by claiming I'm in love with my witch, we have no further business."

Salem began trotting away. The squirrel followed, running across a power line.

"704, Independence Day."

"So I have to wait till July to be shot of you? Good riddance."

"1031. Halloween."

"I'll show you a 1031 if you keep following me."

"1225. Christmas."

"That's it! Christmas! Now I'm on the right track." Salem read the number on the nearest mailbox. It said 356. He went to the right and saw the number 358. "This must be the right way."

The squirrel tittered but Salem ignored it.

Salem got to the end of the road and read the mailbox sign. It said 402. "Where do I go now?"

"Perhaps you will fall down a rabbit hole and land where you need to go?"

"You are one annoying squirrel, you know that?"

"I have a right to be. You have trespassed into my neighborhood, after all."

"Tell me which way to go, you little rodent, or I'll come up there and give you a few scratches that you'll remember for the rest of your life."

"Okay, okay, keep your tail on. The house you seek is two streets thataway." The squirrel pointed in the direction he meant.

"Good thing I'm a cat and can jump over fences, or I would be very annoyed," Salem said. He went to the house across the street from 402, which was 403. He jumped over the fence and found himself just outside a doghouse. The dog within started yelping and rushed at Salem, gnashing at him with its teeth. Salem only managed to get away because the dog's owner threw a broom at it, having not seen the cat, and the dog fell into a heap.

The squirrel whooped. "Fun, eh?"

"Fun for _you_. You can walk across power lines."

"I had to use the trees to get here, buddy. Power lines don't run criss-cross."

"Whatever you say." Salem went on through the yard he was currently in and jumped over the end fence for it. Then he was in the next street over from the first one he had been in. Here the end houses were numbered 846 and 847.

He leaped over the fence of 847 and hit a fire truck on the other side. "Is anything broken?" he asked himself, as he lay there.

"Nothing's broken except your spirit. Get up and continue on your quest."

"I'm getting the feeling that this is all being done for someone's amusement, namely yours," Salem said to the squirrel.

He got up and went over the next fence, into a yard that he was certain would be fine. But just as he reached the edge fence, something nipped him on the foot. He turned to see a crab there. The nip had been a pinch from its claws.

"Oh just what I always wanted to meet, a pet crab."

The crab jabbed at him with its pincers. Salem turned and tried to flick it away with his tail, but the crab seemed to obstinately refuse to be flung away. It pinched him on the tail and he screeched. The crab then pinched Salem's two front legs at the same time.

"Looks like someone could use some help," the squirrel said.

"You think?"

"Just say the word and I'll help you."

"I don't need heeeeeeelp!" Salem said,, the last word coming from a particularly painful pinch around his abdomen.

"I have some acorns with me. I can throw them. I'm not altogether selfish."

"No thanks. I can handle it," Salem said, though just then the crab had gotten hold of his nose and was pinching him first with one claw and then with the other.

"All it takes is one word."

"It's not going to happen."

But at this time the crab pushed Salem against the fence and had hold of his neck.

"One word," the squirrel repeated.

"Fine! Help! Throw the acorns before this bad excuse for a stew ingredient mauls me to an inch of my life!"

"Add the word 'please' to that and you've got yourself a deal."

"Will you just get me out of here? In a moment there won't be any of me _to _say 'please.'"

"You could have said it then," the squirrel said.

"Hurry!"

Acorns began raining down from where the squirrel was, and the crab backed away. Salem shook off a couple of acorns that had landed on his back and prepared to jump when an acorn hit him on the side of the head.

"Hey, watch where you're throwing those."

"You've got a quest to complete! Don't stop now!"

Salem shook himself and jumped over the fence. Then he strode across the last yard. Now he was in the street that the squirrel had indicated from the first.

"1240. So 1225 will be just a few houses down," he said, after reading the mailbox of the house belonging to the people who had a pet crab. He hoped he wouldn't meet any more of them and shuddered at the thought.

He went along the street till he came to the right house. The fence was white and he leaped over it.

"Guess you've made it to your destination," the squirrel said.

"I thought you were gone!"

"Couldn't miss the fun of seeing you arrive here. What's you going to do anyway, Spotty?"

"My name isn't Spotty; it's Salem. And I'm going to cough up a hairball."

"That's rather disgusting, Salem. Why would you want to do that?"

"I don't know. It's just what Sabrina told me to do."

"Well, don't mind if I don't watch," the squirrel said, turning his back on the scene.

Salem then started hacking and coughing, and in a moment a round orb emerged from his throat. "If only it were 2012," Salem said.

"What's that you just said?" asked the squirrel.

"It's what Sabrina told me to say."

Just then, there was a slight tremor in the earth. Then it ended.

"Uh, what just happened?" the squirrel asked.

"If Sabrina were here, she'd know. But she's not, so…"

"Why don't you go home to your lover and ask her?"

"She's not my lover. And even if I did like her, she's married."

"Oh, unrequited love. That's my favorite kind."

"I'm leaving," Salem said.

"I'll show you the door."

"We are in a _neighborhood_. Outdoors. There is no door."

"Sure there is. It's called the ozone layer."

"Oh right. You're going to show me the ozone layer. You. A squirrel."

"Hey, I saved your life back there with the crab!"

"So you did. And now you're making me hungry for crab."

"Well, I'm a herbivore, and don't eat meat, so I can't join you in the feast, but I can help you cook it."

"I like the sound of that."

And with that, Salem let the squirrel lead him back the way he came.

(The crab hid in a hole and Salem couldn't dig her out, for she was covered in dirt that his claws were not used to picking up. But at least she didn't try to use Salem as a pinching post again. She was too afraid of the acorns.)


	2. Chapter 2

**Toys on the Town**

**Chapter Two**

Andy saw the movie _Brave _in theaters. He loved it so much that he ordered a Merida doll from Amazon, and when she arrived in the mail, she was so beautiful that he couldn't resist bringing his old toys out of the chest and playing with them.

"If you don't let me by, Sheriff, I'll make sure you're red-headed friend gets it," Andy made Mr. Potato Head say, in the character of One-Eyed Bart.

"You mean Jessie?"

"Your partner? No, what would I want to do with her? I mean you're other redhead pal, the princess Merida!"

"Look buddy, no one lays her paws on Merida without my permission!"

"That's funny, because my wife is sitting in a room with her tied to a chair, about to cut her wild hair all off. She's just waiting for a call from me to give her the go-ahead."

"You wouldn't dare," said Sheriff Woody.

One-Eyed Bart held up a cell phone and punched a button. Woody felt that he heard Merida's scream in his head. He bent on the ground, his hands over his head, feeling her pain.

"What are your commands, Sheriff?" asked the army men.

"Get the ESP penguin here pronto!" Woody said.

Weezy appeared. "What do you need, Sheriff?"

"Open a gateway to wherever Princess Merida of Scotland is at the moment, right now."

"You won't reach her before she's bald as a potato!" One-Eyed Bart said, guffawing.

Suddenly a portal opens up in the air and Woody steps through. He is in a garage, where One-Eyed Betty threateningly has just stripped off a strand of Merida's hair with scissors.

She is gagged but her eyes plead with Woody to save her. He pulls out his whip and brings it down on One-Eyed Betty, yanking the scissors out of her hands in the process. One-Eyed Betty screeches and launches herself onto Woody, who is furthered hampered by One-Eyed Bart, who has climbed through the portal as well. They start to tie him up once he is unable to fight them any longer, but then Jessie climbs through the portal unknowingly and cuts the ropes that bind Merida to the chair. She pulls the gag out of Merida's mouth. Merida gasps for air and both of the bandits notice her and Jessie standing there and advance toward them. Woody is still pinioned to the ground, lying there helplessly. He hopes that his partner and the new female friend he has made will have the strength to overpower the bandits.

Andy was so engrossed in his play that he did not notice Molly open his door.

"What are you doing? Playing with toys? And on your way to college, too."

"Molly, you're not supposed to come in here."

"It's not like you're undressed or anything."

"Out!" Andy shouted. He threw a shoe at her but it hit the door, as she shut it quickly.

He tried to return to his play, but he could not resume the spirit he had felt a moment ago. Molly had ruined it. So he went to the park.

Meanwhile, back in his room, Woody was feeling happier than he had in years. "He finally played with us again!"

"Not all of us," Buzz said.

"There's still hope for it to happen, though," said Rex. "If he can play with us once, he can play with us again."

"I think we have you to thank for this newfound desire to play with us again, ma'am," Woody said to Merida.

"I'm glad of it, if I am. Though I never thought I'd be bought and played with by an eighteen-year-old."

"Some eighteen-year-olds buy collectibles to sell them later," Hamm said, knowingly.

"Oh gosh, I don't want to get sold again," Merida said, distressed.

"Trust me when I say, when you belong to Andy, you're his for life," Woody said. He held up his boot, showing her Andy's faded name.

"What about Bo and Etch-a-Sketch?" Buzz asked.

"Do-ferb ot-nerb ention-merb Bo-erb in-erb ont-frerb e-therb ew-nerb irl-gerb," Woody said.

"Oh sorry, did not mean to offend…"

The truth was, Woody had been taken with Merida from the get-go. She was really sensational. And Andy had already paired them together in his play. He hadn't made it explicit that they were a couple, but Woody inferred from what happened that they were meant to be something of the sort. Whether overt or secretive he did not know. But he was sure there was something. And outside of play, he knew there was something about her that he just didn't quite get with Jessie. Which was a good thing because she and Buzz had crushes on each other and it was them who needed to experience that stuff together.

Ever since Bo had gone, Woody had been lonely. It looked like for once, he wouldn't have to worry about that. Because he might have a girl after all. That is, if Merida wanted him, which she might not. After all, she was a Scottish _princess_. It was one thing dating a sheep girl, but a princess? She far outranked him, and she might think him a simpleton for thinking he could be with her. Of course, she was a toy so maybe she didn't carry all the airs a real princess would. He could only hope that there was some way, even if she wasn't the girl for him, he could find someone. And for now, Merida looked like she could be that someone.


	3. Chapter 3

**Toys on the Town**

**Chapter Three**

Despite all the toys thinking that Andy would start playing with them again, the summer went by without them being touched at all again. Merida didn't mind as much as the others. She wasn't used to be neglected as she just came into existence not long ago, then was in a shipper's van for awhile, after which she was in a warehouse awaiting purchase. Then Andy bought her and she was shipped to him. That was all she knew of life.

But Andy's other toys knew what being played with was like, what it felt like to be held by their owner, who with loving care put them through myriad scenarios and cherished the toys who played bad guys as much as the ones who played good ones. He did have a special preference for Woody and Buzz, but still there was a time when he would play with them every day, except when he went away to camp.

Wheezy had almost been sold at a yard sale once. Well, twice actually, but the second time he was actually put in the yard sale on purpose. A little girl in a yellow dress wanted to buy him. But she tripped over a skateboard and found a yo-yo while lying on the ground. Her mother said that she had to pick between the yo-yo and Wheezy. She chose the yo-yo.

Andy decided to keep Wheezy since no one had bought him. He did like Wheezy and was pleased to find him fixed when he came home from summer camp all those years ago. His mother was good enough to have found a new squeaker for him. That was pleasant, having Wheezy there in his play, helping Woody and his friends defeat One-Eyed Bart and the Evil Dr. Porkchop.

But those days had long since passed. Wheezy the ESP penguin, who could open up portals with his mind as well as read other people's minds, was a creature of Andy's past. He just could not get back into playing mode. A hard part of growing up.

And now his mother was making him pack for college. She suggested that he donate his toys to a daycare so that other kids could play with them.

He wasn't going to donate them. They would go in the attic for his own children to play with one day.

Taking out a trash bag, he dropped them all in there. Then he got to Buzz and Woody. He had difficulty choosing between them, but at last picked Woody to take to college.

Then looking at his beloved cowboy doll, he thought that Woody wouldn't be complete without a girlfriend. So he dug Merida out of the trash bag and put her next to Woody in the box, then carried the trash bag to the attic ladder that he had pulled down.

Molly was carrying the box with the stuff she was going to donating to the daycare, but it was a little heavy for her. Andy offered to help her carry it. He dropped the trash bag of toys and went with her down the stairs, Molly continuing her attempts to get him to give her his PS3.

Andy's mother saw the trash bag. She did not see the ladder leading up to the attcic and naturally assumed her son had left the bag there carelessly. She picked it up and carried it down the stairs to await the garbage truck.

"Merida, come on, hurry!" Woody exclaimed. "We've got to rescue them."

"How do you propose we do that?"

"We could call Buster."

"The filthy hairy beast that your owner keeps for a pet? I don't think so."

"Hey, Andy's your owner too."

"He only played with me once."

"He's taking you to college. That should tell you something."

"Yes, he thinks having me will cause girls to think he's a champion for women's rights or something and they'll flock to him like ants to a picnic."

"Where do you draw that conclusion?"

"He thinks I will make a suitable companion for you. A cowboy and an archery-obsessed princess? Give me a break."

"From that you conclude he's using you to get girls?"

"Look, I may not know much about your owner, but I know a gu who is girl-crazy when I see one. He paired you and me up immediately, the one time he played with us. He didn't even give us a backstory before making us a couple. _That _is the sign of a guy who is desperate for love."

"Well, that's great and all, but my friends are about to be picked up by a garabage truck, so we'll have to continue this discussion later."\

Woody grabbed scissors from the desk top and then he and Merida went toward the window and slid down the drain pipe.

The garbage truck was coming nearer, and in a moment it'd be too late to save the others. Woody and Merida dashed forward and made it to the trash bags. She took the scissors from him and jumped in the air, bringing the scissors down in a wide arc. The trash bag was cut open and Andy's other toys poured out on the lawn.

Unfortunately, the garbage truck arrived and they had to resume stationary positions. The man who jumped out of the truck looked at them, and a shadow of fear came across his face. "Luke, I think we'll just have to leave the trash here. I can't touch it."

"It's just garbage, Sid. Nothing you haven't handled before."

"Well, I think maybe someone accidentally put some valuables near the garbage and I don't want to take it and then this family sue the garbage company for taking away things that aren't trash."

"Sid, when did anybody ever sue the garbage company, and _win_?"

"Good point," Sid said. He tried to push his fear aside and reached for the toys. Suddenly Woody lifted his head and looked at him sternly. He cowered and gathered the trash bags, throwing them in the back, albeit missing one. Then he jumped into the truck and barked at the other guy to drive.

"Never seen you so jittery before, y didn't put. Maybe you hould cut back on the drink."

The truck rode on to the next house, and they didn't hear Sid's reply.

"Thanks, Woody," Buzz said.

"Yeah, thanks for saving us a trip to the dump," said Mr. Potato Head

"Andy didn't intend to put you there. He was trying to put you in the attic."

"Then how did we wind up here?" Hamm asked.

"It was an accident."

"You're covering for Andy," Mr. Potato Head said. "He doesn't care about us."

"Guys, halt!" Buzz said.

A kid was watching them. They took stationery mode as the kid ran over. He poked them, but they remained motionless. "Come on, talk! I just saw you doing it!"

A nine-year-old girl came over. "Barny, what are you doing?"

"Trying to make these toys talk."

"Barny," she said, in the manner of a first-grade teacher explaining the most rudimentary laws of mathematics, "toys do not talk on their own. See this toy?" She lifted up Woody and pulled his string. "_Somebody's poisoned the waterhole_!"

"It didn't sound like that," the boy said.

"Of course it did, silly. The pullstring must've got caught under a rock." She set Woody down.

"But they were moving too!"

"Toys don't move on their own, either, Barny. Someone has to move them to make it happen."

"I saw them! I really did!"

She led him away. "Don't be silly, Barny. We need to go home."

The boy kept looking back at them.

"Let's take it to the garage," Woody said.

They headed there, and the boy saw them. "Look, Karen! They're moving! Right there!"

"I am not looking Barny. There is no point in proving that you are seeing things that aren't there."

"But it's really happening! Look!"

"Fine," the girl said She gazed in that direction, but by now the toys were in the garage. "I don't see anything."

"But they're gone! No longer in the yard!"

She took a glance in that direction. "So they are gone," she said. Then she smacked Barny, causing him to yelp in pain. "That's for trying to play a trick on me. It's obvious that someone picked up the toys while I had my back turned and took them into the house. You knew I wouldn't look, and so you told me to do so. Just for that, I'll tell Mom that you don't deserve dessert tonight."

The boy started bawling, but as his sister dragged him off, it grew more and more faint to the toys' ears.

"That was close," Wheezy said.

"Too close," said Hamm.

"Guys, why don't we go to daycare?" Jessie suggested.

"Daycare sounds fun," said Rex.

"Anything's better than waiting here to be taken to the dump," said Mr. Potato Head.

"You can't go to daycare," Woody said.

"Why not?" asked Slinky.

"It's a terrible place for toys with no hope for being played with again."

"Woody, _we _have no hope of being played with again," Jessie said.

"Andy's kids will play with you, when he has some."

"Then why did he put us in a trash bag?"

"Because they are easy to carry?" Woody said.

"Well, I'm going," Mr. Potato Head said. He hopped onto the bumper, his wife following suit, along with their three adopted aliens.

Jessie glared at Woody before she climbed up too, followed by Bullseye. Then Rex and Hamm and Slinky.

"Should we try to stop them?" Merida asked.

"It is our duty as Andy's toys to prevent them from throwing themselves away to daycare," Woody said. Merida climbed up on the bumper and helped Woody up.

"It's time women were stronger," she said. "No men helping them up and garbage. If you ask me, chivalry is what needs to be thrown away. Not toys."

"They weren't thrown away! You know that."

"Well, they don't."

"You've got a point."

Woody turned to the toys, who were in the box marked "Sunnyside."

"Hey, guys, come out of there. This is silly."

"We are going, Woody, and you can't stop us," said Slinky.

Woody climbed up on the box's flaps and jumped down. Merida came too.

"We've got to get out of here before—"

Then Andy's mother slammed the trunk and went toward the front of her car, jangling her keys.

One of Molly's dolls had her head turned. Until she heard the motor running, she had not thought she was actually leaving. Now she shook consulsively. "Mollllly!" she moaned.

"Aurora, she got rid of you?" Mrs. Potato Head asked.

"It appears so," the princess in a blue dress said, sniveling.

"Figures," Merida said. "Molly is the thirteen-year-old girl, isn't she?"

"Yes, that's her," Slinky said.

Merida nodded. "Girls do get rid of their princess stuff by that age. At that time of their life, they are no longer interested in being princesses."

"What do you know about it?" Jessie asked. "You were just manufactured months ago."

"A girl can learn a lot in a few months," Merida said.

"I lived with my old owner Emily for twelve years before I reached such a conclusion. I think it takes a lot longer for a toy to understand such things."

"Maybe it did for you. But I'm a little quicker than that."

"Ladies, ladies, please, no fighting," said Wheezy. "It won't look good when we reach the daycare if you two look like you have been dragged through the fields."

"Why? So you don't get rejected by the kids immediately? Guys, we are _Andy's _toys. We are not made for strangers."

"Give it a rest, Woody," said Hamm. "We are going and that's that."

Suddenly the car came to a stop. The toys peered through the back window of the car.

There was a magnificent playground, with a jungle gym and slide.

"We've arrived!" Mrs. Potato Head said. "I'd better put in my fashionable earring." She took out her current ear and replaced it with a ear that looked like it had a corkscrew coming out of it. Woody didn't think it was very fashionable, but he wasn't versed in that way.

"I can't wait to meet the kids!" Slinky said.

"Welcome to Nightmareville," Woody muttered under his breath.


	4. Chapter 4

**Toys on the Town**

**Chapter Four**

Andy's mother carried the box into the daycare building and handed it to a woman who took it into an adjoining room. There were many kids there, playing with toys. It was a wonder for the toys inside the donation box, who had been waiting so long to feel the warmth of a loving child's hands again.

Someone called the children over for recess. They ran like bees to nectar, heading outdoors. Then a sliding door slammed shut.

Now that there were no humans in the room, the toys could be as active as they desired. Rex ended up pushing the box over because he couldn't see through the hole with all the other toys in front of him.

They spilled out on the ground. For a second, there was silence, and then Andy's toys were surrounded by toys they had never met before.

A plastic Jack-O-Lantern approached Buzz. "We've never had a representative of your toy line here before. Welcome to Sunnyside."

A snow puppy was sniffing at Slinky. There was a plush Cubchoo near it with snot dripping from its nose. "Hey, you're a Pokemon!" Rex exclaimed. He had played Pokemon Black often enough to know that. Andy sometimes wondered why the hours on his DS game were higher than he had thought he had had on there. Rex always released the Pokemon he trained to high levels because he knew Andy would notice if he had an Autumn Deerling at level 84.

A plush Psyduck scratched its head when Mrs. Potato Head greeted it.

A Gaston doll lifted Aurora in the air. "My if you aren't the prettiest darling that has ever coming to Sunnyside."

"Don't mind him," said a wrecking ball with a face and a stuffed carrot for a nose. "Last week he was all over a Belle doll."

Gaston set Aurora down and challenged the wrecking ball to a duel.

"I'm sorry, but I can't fire a weapon," the wrecking ball said."

"You _are _a weapon," Gaston said.

"Oh right. Then I accept your challenge."

"We'll be your second!" exclaimed the three aliens all at once.

"He can only have one second," Gaston said. "Not three."

"But we all want to be a second."

"If it makes you feel any better," said the wrecking ball, "you can have the three boa constrictors as your seconds."

Gaston accepted these terms with a grimace.

"Sure are lively folk here," Hamm said, as he greeted a plastic cheese lizard that was the mascot of Kraft Macaroni.

"They're just so mozerella."

"Don't be abusing the term 'mozerella,' now," said a plastic pizza slice carrying a sythe.

Buzz was head-butted by a giraffe. "Don't mind Fuzzball. He just likes to have his fun," said the Jack-o-Lantern.

The space ranger didn't know what to think, since the Jack-o-Lantern was pretty creepy itself.

A monster truck approached, and in the driver's seat was a purple teddy bear wearing sunglasses.

The purple bear leaped down from his seat in the monster truck. "Nice to meet you."

He grabbed Merida and she struggled to free herself from his grasp, but to no avail. "Blarney if you aren't the most sultry oven-burning red-head who ever stepped into this joint."

"Blarney if I don't spit in your eye if you don't release me," Merida hissed.

"Don't be vicious, now, y'hear? It's not becoming of such a sweet robin as you."

"I'm not sweet, and I'm feeling in a roast bear mood right now."

"Never thought I'd hear such bite in the Butterfly Room. Glad to have you." He let go of her. She was breathing heavily.

The bear turned to the rest of them. "My name's Lotso and I'm here to keep things running smoothly in Sunnyside. It is nice to have you on the crew."

"My friends are not exactly _on _the crew," Woody said.

"Denial of being donated. Very common in toys loyal to their former masters."

"Wait, I wasn't—"

But the bear cut him off. "Come on, everyone, it's time for the grand tour.

Lotso led them over to a wading pool, on the side of which was a wooden ladder.

The toys climbed up the ladder. Rex had to climb up Slinky, for when he tried to climb the ladder he broke the bottom two rungs. Slinky himself had just leaped up using his own spring.

They saw a moat made from chocolate milk there, as proven by the bottle of Nesquik on this side of the swimming pool, that grinning rabbit offering a sip of the beverage he was holding.

In the middle of the moat was a plastic island, though it was difficult to make out because there were stacks of colored bills all around its edges.

"Flynn!" Lotso called. "Approach landside and greet the new residents, why don't you?"

The piles of Monopoly money shifted, and a male doll wearing a green vest over a white shirt appeared.

"I'd rather stay on my island with my enormous piles of money."

"There are a few girls among this party, two of whom might like you as an escort."

"You tried to set me up with a Rapunzel doll once, and it didn't work out."

"There's no Rapunzel among this party, but there is an Aurora."

"Aurora? Haven't seen one of those dolls before. I'll be right over."

Flynn hopped in the kayak he had near his island in the moat. He started rowing across the chocolate milk.

"We are not here to be used as bait to get men to work," Jessie said to Lotso.

"Oh, you ladies take offence too easily. There's little that will get Flynn off that island besides women."

"Why did you say only two of us would like him as an escort?" Merida asked.

"Because the other women in your bunch are already paired off. Mrs. Potato Head is with Mr. Potato Head, as you very well know."

"Darn right I am. And no one is going to tear me from my hubby."

"That's great and all," said Merida, "but there are three other girls here."

"Yeah, but you're taken."

"I am _not_. Woody and I are just friends."

"I wasn't talking about the sheriff," said Lotso.

Before Merida could question him further, Flynn arrived.

His eyes encountered Aurora's. She looked hopeful. But he noticed her crown. "Oh come on, not another princess! Couldn't you give me someone a little less high in the social hierarchy?"

Then he spotted Jessie. "Ah, a cowgirl. You'll do just fine."

"Get away from me," Jessie said, pushing him and causing Flynn to trip over Slinky's spring.

"You sure do bring the spritiest women in here, Lotso."

"They have a way of finding this place," Lotso said, his eyes twinkling in Merida's direction.

"All right, let's begin the tour," Flynn said, clapping his hands. "Everyone, follow me;."

He descended down the wooden ladder on the edge of the swimming pool, jumping from the third rung to the bottom as the bottom two rungs were gone. The other toys followed suit.

First he took them to a closet nearby, and the door was opened by a spider toy. "This is the room where we tar and feather disrespectful toys."

"He's kidding, right?" Mrs. Potato Head said.

Inside the room were several clowns doing cartwheels, with Pillow Pals watching.

A worm toy was wriggling to a plastic juke box that released no music.

Flynn shut the door and took them past a cottage.

"All the Snow-White dolls live here," Flynn said, "including one that looks like Kristen Stewart."

The toys looked at the house in awe, except for Woody who wanted to get out of there faster than one could blink.

"I don't suppose you want to live there, Aurora," Flynn said.

Aurora said something to the effect that she would have difficult getting along with the bevy of Snow-Whites.

"I suppose that's true," said Flynn.

A few Snow-Whites were peeking out of them through the cottage window. Merida was irritated by this and bumped into Lotso in her effort to escape their gaze. Lotso flashed her a grin that she didn't like, before slapping her on the back and moving away.

Flynn led them past the racing track. "We have a race once a month to encourage the spirits of the car toys. Lightning McQueen cars have been banned from the races because they tend to win every time. They all have their own private race and say, 'Every McQueen for himself.' People don't tend to watch the McQueen-only races, because McQueen always wins those, too. Might not be the _same _McQueen all the time, but still."

Flynn stopped before a miniature stadium. (Miniature to humans, that is. To toys it was a well-enough size.)

"This is the Quidditch pitch," Flynn said. There was an arena with four areas on the corners, in which toys could sit, and two goalposts on opposite ends of the field. "The line of Harry Potter toys come here to have a game once in awhile. Sometimes other toys play too. We have wires to lift the Bludgers, which are beach balls that are one-inch in diameter.

A Donald Duck in wizard robes approached them. "Flynn, when is the next Quidditch game scheduled?"

"It will be in a fortnight," Flynn said. "But you're not participating."

"But I finally figured out how to catch the Snitch! The secret is to swallow it!"

"You don't want a gumball stuck down your gullet."

"I do if it wins my House the game."

"You don't belong to any of the Houses."

"I do too! I'm in Gryffindor Hufflepuff. Though I want to play on Slytherin Ravenclaw's team once, just to see what happens."

"Slytherin and Ravenclaw are separate Houses, as are the other two."

"What are you quacking about?"

"You're the one who's quacking," Flynn said. "You're a duck!"

Just for that, I won't toss the Quaffle in your direction the next match."

"Neither team will let you play, and if you're after the Snitch, that would make you a Seeker. Players in that position aren't allowed to touch the Quaffle."

"I'm going to be a Seeker Chaser."

"Good luck convincing the Hassan Mostafa doll of that," Flynn said, patting Donald on the shoulder. Then he led the toys on.

"Your room is here," Flynn said, tapping on a door with an image of a snake biting its own tail.

The door swung open and Andy's toys were in awe, except for Woody and Merida.

The room was huge and it signified playtime. There were blocks of letters and crayons and construction paper. The place had a feel good feeling to it.

The toys scrambled inside.

"We'd best be leaving," Lotso said. "The kids will be here to play any minute now."

"You sure you don't want to come share my island with me?" Flynn asked Aurora.

"I'm sure," she said.

"Let me at least kiss you on the cheek."

"Fine," she said, and he gave her a peck, though he looked as though he wanted more.

Lotso clambered into his monster truck, which had just arrived to take him away. He called for Flynn to come as well.

When the door shut, Woody watched them all, then came and said, "Guys, this is not the place for us."

"Woody, we need to go to new places instead of staying behind at Andy's."

"Buzz, we have a duty to go back home to the kid who loves us."

"Andy intended us for the garbage man to pick us up," Mr. Potato Head said. "Sid, no less!"

"Guys, I know you're feeling hurt by this but that's not where he meant to put you.. the attic was his intended location."

"It was the trash and you know it, deputy," Jessie said, thrusting a finger at Woody's chest.

Woody glared at her and moved his glare around the entire company.

"Well, I'm going, if you're not."

"Come on, Woody. You might like it here," Slinky said.

"This place is rotten to the core," Woody said.

"You're just saying that because it isn't Andy's room," Mr. Potato Head said. "Of course, he loves you enough to take you to college, so you have a right to think so. But the rest of us…"

"So I guess we're through then."

Buzz came forward to shake hands with Woody.

"You have made your decision, and I have made mine," Woody said, not take Buzz' hand.

He headed for the door but just as he reached it,, he had a sudden thought and ran back to them.

Bending down on his knees in front of Merida, he said, "Will you come with me, Merida? Back to Andy's house, where we belong?"

"I think it's best if I remain here," Merida said.

"Suit yourself." Woody headed toward the door.

"But," Merida said, blocking his exit, "a sheriff can't leave his beloved townsfolk without kissing his darling."

She took Woody in her arms and leaned toward him, her lips puckered, ready to give him that desired kiss. At least desired from someone who wasn't a bear.

Woody blushed a deep crimson. "You're more dramatic than Bo."

"Who's Bo?"

"My ex-girlfriend."

Merida dropped him to the ground. "Oh no, I'm not kissing a guy who has been foibled before. I guess we're not meant to be after all."

There were footsteps behind Woody and he turned around, hoping to see Merida there. But it was Jessie's horse, who did care for Woody a great deal. But if the other toys weren't coming with him, Bullseye wasn't either.

"Bullseye, if Merida is staying, so are you."

Merida had her arms folded. She did not respond to this saying.

Woody still couldn't take his eyes off her as he moved toward the door. It opened and a woman called a little girl's name. Woody dashed out where she wouldn't see and left everyone behind.


End file.
